Hello again world. I took quite the leave of absence over the past few months but I have returned to the porcelain goddess to enlighten you all with my hot takes.
First off, congrats to you Mr. Brady! You not only just became the greatest QB of all time in my mind, but gave the ultimate fuck you to Mr. Goodell, which is amazing. You now have 5 rings, a smokeshow wife (who makes more money than you, jackpot), and the Superbowl record for passing yards….. What more could a man want. Brady 2020?
To all those doubting his greatness, comment below and I will send you a bag of dicks (yes, it exists here). I am not sure how this fact has flown under the radar but just think about this for one second… HE WON A SUPERBOWL WITH NO RECEIVERS OVER 6’1″ (and 3 of them were tiny white guys).
Lets take a look at the draft position of his offensive weapons:
Chris “Inverse Hulk” Hogan: Undrafted Free Agent
Danny “Queen” Amendola: Undrafted Free Agent
James “Brown” White: 130th Pick (by Patriots)
Dion Lewis: 149th pick
Julian “Ladies and” Edelman: 232nd pick
Malcolm “In the Middle of the Offense” Mitchell: 112th pick (by Patriots)
LeGarrette “Hold My” Blount: Undrafted Free Agent
Brandon Bolden: Undrafted Free Agent
So the highest pick of the skill players would made any impact this year was 112th and it was by the Patriots themselves.
*Yes, I know I am leaving out Gronk, he is obviously the best receiver on the team but he had a small impact this year and none in the post season (He was drafted 42nd by the Pats)*
Shit, the man basically took the 06-07 Cavs to the NBA title game and people are still not giving him credit.
As for the game itself, what a rollercoaster of emotions! It went from a terribly boring game to one of the best 4th quarters in Superbowl history. On a tangent, commercials suck these days, someone needs to step it up (I will be posting later on this). The Patriots lost the game in the first half, Falcons lost the game in the second half, and Finally someone won the game in OT. I will admit I was pulling for the Pats just to see Goodell’s reaction and it did not disappoint. BUT, as the comeback was in full effect, I started to root for the Falcons as I was worried for the safety of their fans. I envisioned them all jumping off the closest building and then burning Matt Ryan’s jersey.
For all you Falcons fans crying about “his knee was down”, or “the game is rigged”, fuck off. I didn’t see any of you up in arms in the first half when the Pats seemingly blocked an extra point but was called back for an atrocious Illegal Formation call that was completely wrong. It was a great game, and a game I will remember forever. To commemorate this amazing game, I have compiled my favorite internet memes as seen below.
I do not take credit for any of these, I just found them through various social media outlets:
Brady Saltbae
Classic Eli
Hilarious Meme but look at the comment (cannot confirm if this is real)
Well folks that is all for this post. My legs are completely numb at this point from sitting here for so long. I’ll Be Right Back.
*** I feel especially bad for Julio Jones, the man is the best in the game and his catches were nothing short of spectacular
Be Right Back 